Embracing Controlled Chaos: My Journey as a Working Mom, Marathoner, and Everything In Between

It’s been a while since my last post, and I must say, the past couple of years have been nothing short of an exhilarating whirlwind. My family has grown, and I’m now a proud mom of two energetic little boys, Wyatt and Waylon, who have filled my life with joy and purpose. As many parents can relate, learning to balance family, personal passions like running marathons, and a fulfilling career has been a journey of growth, discovery, and sometimes chaos.

As I navigated the beautiful mess of motherhood—as I transitioned from being a mom of one to two—the struggle was real. Between chasing toddler and baby and training for prestigious events like the Boston Marathon, I found myself grappling with an overwhelming sense of chaos. Inspired by countless books and resources on how to simplify life, I sought to carve out time for running while still being present for my kids and committed to my career.

Let’s be honest: life with two boys under the age of two, plus marathon training and a professional life, often felt like a juggling act that was teetering on chaos. I tried various routines and techniques, seeking structure amidst the pandemonium. However, I often found myself feeling as though I was failing because none of these methods seemed to stick. I felt the first thing to sacrifice was my time for self-care, and in return, I struggled to show up as my best self for my family, friends, and even at work.

Then, during a meeting with a women’s group I had recently joined, a profound shift began. When discussing our individual challenges, I voiced my frustrations about trying to simplify my life. One insightful woman posed a refreshing thought: instead of viewing my situation as a chaotic mess that needed to be simplified, what if I embraced it as “controlled chaos”? This perspective was a game-changer!

With renewed determination, I leaned into the idea of controlled chaos during my maternity leave. I began by reevaluating my expectations for family life, my training, and my career. I realized that my high standards were perhaps a bit too ambitious, not only for myself but also for my children and work. Acknowledging that not everyone would share these standards, and that was perfectly okay, was liberating.

This realization empowered me to identify what truly mattered—quality family time, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and nurturing my career aspirations. I set clear non-negotiables for my life and established a routine that would allow me to honor those commitments amidst the beautiful chaos of family life.

Fast forward three months: I am now embracing controlled chaos and navigating this new chapter with resilience. I’ve learned about the dangers of overfunctioning and the importance of letting go of expectations that don’t serve me—or my family. Some days are full of challenges, but I’ve come to appreciate that making space for personal goals is not an impediment; it’s a vital component of being my best self.

These days, if I can fit a training run or workout into my schedule, carve out quality moments with my supportive husband and lively sons in the mornings and evenings, and drive my professional endeavors forward, I consider it a tremendous win.

As a proud working mom and marathoner, I celebrate the journey. Motherhood, with its beautiful chaos, is an incredible ride, and it’s one that I embrace wholeheartedly. Here’s to all the other parents out there navigating their own controlled chaos. Remember: creating your version of balance doesn’t mean sacrificing your dreams; it means embracing your incredible journey—one run, one moment, and one heartfelt experience at a time.